Dedication takes a life time ALEX GASKARTH FANFIC!
by justjosie
Summary: a story of the love/hate relationship between alex gaskarth and Jacey..i suck at summaries so read it and i dont think you will be disappointed...PLEASE REVIEW THIS IS MY FIRST STORY!
1. Chapter 1

Prologue

It wasn't love at first sight, or second or third sight. He was just a stupid punk that was I was on tour with. to be quite honest he and his band mates made me sick with the way the would bar hop after every show and never leave without at least one slut. I couldn't wrap my head around it, but that was just the way most of these idiots on tour were. they had no respect for relationships, nor any desire to be in one. Neither did the skanks they brought back all they cared about was saying "OMG I SLEPT WITH(INSERT NAME) FROM (INSET BAND NAME)!" It didn't really phase me. I didn't want to party. That wasn't what I was here for. I wanted to make music and play it in front of thousands of people and that is just what I did. I love my job, though I could hardly call it that. yeah, it paid my bills and my entire life was devoted to it but I loved it. I thought a job was some shitty day in day out I hate my fucking life kinda thing...well not mine thank god. I'm gonna ride this wave for as long as I can I know that. But anyways. Gaskarth, he was just a pain in my ass. always pulling some stupid ass prank on my band A Chaotic Theory. last night I came in to the bathroom on the bus to put my make up on before the show only to find it all taped to the ceiling. pissed me off I can tell ya that. so after his show I can only imagine the horror on his face when he found a tampon with red food coloring inside his signature beanie on his bunk bahaha that outta show his dumb ass. and from there the games began as did our story.

Chapter one.

Jacey get your lazy ass outta bed! we have a sound check in half an hour! Cass is always on my ass. so what i like to sleep what is the problem with that? But I didnt feel like arguing and knew she was right so reluctantly i got outta bed, brushed my teeth and jumped in the shower, ten minutes later i put on my bright yellow skinny jeans, never shout never Tee and my trusty old beat up black chucks.I put my hair up in a messy bun and headed out to the sound check.

"Damn Jacey, you look better and better every day." I didn't have to turn around to know it was Gaskarth, so i didn't. I just kept walking and flipped him off and said yeah that might be because I value my liver. Get enough to drink last night Gaskarth? I didn't wait around for his response which i'm sure was some smart ass comment. I had shit to do. Sound check went fine. and i couldnt wait for tonights show.

After the sound check I was heading back to the bus to do something with my hair and make up. only to find cass and jack from all time low running towards me I have a secret! they both said in unison No! I get to tell her we are family fuck off jack! cass said. Hell No he is my best friend! jack whined back. I was getting annoyed "guys what the fuck is it. cass we have a show in a couple hours, i dont have time for this i have to get ready!" jack and cassy looked at each other and both said alex brok up with lisa! like i should care or something. well guys that is great now that you have told me this wonderful secret would you mind terribly if i went to get ready?

"you don't care?" jack said astonishment written all over his face. getting more and more annoyed with every second i said why the hell would i care that that chode broke up with his girlfriend, I mean its not like he doesnt cheat on her very time he goes out. hell if i was her i would have dumped his ass long ago. jack now looked shocked, and he looked at cass and said umm well you can take it from here and walked away.

I was over this convo, why they thought i would care was beyond me. yeah Gaskarth is cute, i even idolized him befor the tour. but then i saw that he was just like every other "rockstar" partied hard and got down with skanky bitches. maybe once upon a time he cared about this lisa chick but it was clear that while he was on tour he did what he wanted. i walked back to the bus with cass following close behind. Jace i have to explain something to you... k well you can explain while i get cleaned up, by the way is that my GK v neck you are wearing? cass blushed. yeah it is, you dont mind do you i mean i will change if, i cut her off. i dont care. it looks better on you anyway. so continue with whatever the hell that was outside why the fuck would i care about Gaskarth's love troubles?

Oh, right she said. Well here's the thing Jace, lisa didn't break up with alex... he broke up with her. she was staring at me like i should be able to piece this together, but of course i didnt. cass i still dont understand why i of all people should give a shit. Jacey Rae, be nice! you should care because he told her he has found someone else he wants to be involved with...someone from A Chaotic Theory! ok so now it was all finally starting to make sense. cass and jack def had something going on unofficially idk if they are besties or what but they are together all the time, and britta well she is hanging out with women these days, so unless he has the hotts for ian my bassist that only leaves me. just as soon as i started to entertain the idea i pushed it out of my mind and said the only smart ass thing i could think of to cover up what i wasnt sure i wanted to be feeling. "oh well him and Ian will be very cute together. can't wait to hear the songs that get written about him. i wonder if it was love at first sight? cass was getting pissed. she thought this was epic i could tell. "JACEY OH. MY. GOD. YOU ARE NOT THAT STUPID I KNOW IT!" eh maybe i am maybe im not but i wish them the best of luck. Oh and if he cheats on my man Ian i will have to personally rip his throat out relay the message for me. i said and walked of the bus. I had to clear my head. to remind myself that this dude was a whore who probably had some sort of STD with his track record.


	2. Chapter 2

_**PLEASE REVIEW! AND I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER :D**_

_**disclaimer**: I do not own All time low, any lyrics or band members from all time low, however I do own A Chaotic Theory and Cassy, Britta, and Ian!_

**Chapter Two: Entertaining the idea**

I walked around the venue for awhile after that, trying to clear my head of what my best friend/cousin just told me. I didn't want to believe that it could be true. I mean c'mon Alex fucking Gaskarth of all people? This had to be a joke. I loved his music, had a mild obessesion in high school, hell I even got his lyics tattooed to me foot when I was 18. I don't think he knows that however, and I would like to keep it that way.

But now, I can't stand him. I loathe everything about him. And he goes out of his way to piss me off on a daily basis. These were the thoughts going through my head when I ran into britta walking around stealing glances at our pretty merch girl brilyn. She didn't notice that I knew exactly what she was doing which made me giggle. "Britta if you like her why don't you atleast attempt to make conversation with her? She is pretty down to earth." I said. Britta looked at me in surprise not realizing that I had caught on to her. Which made me giggle again. "I don't know Jace, I mean she is really awesome, but I don't think we are playing for the same team ya know?"

That thought had never even occurred to me, what if Brilyn wasn't into girls? Hell what if she was I would have never thought to care before today, but I had to try and help britta out so I came up with a plan. One I was super sure Britta would hate but what did that matter.

"Brit I will be right back I gotta check something out. Show is in 30 so do me a huge favor and make sure everyone and everything is ready, will ya?" she just looked at me like I know you are up to something and I don't like it and said "yeah I guess Jace, but please don't do anything to mess with this for me." I just smiled and walked towards the merch tent. Content to work on Britta's love issues rather than my own.

"Yo, Brilyn! What's goin on over in this neck of the woods today?" I said. "Hey Jacey, everything is going great sold out of the purple V-necks quick today" I really wasn't that interested in it but whatever. "so are you going to the after party tonight, supposed to be lots of hot guys tonight..." I said, trying to get a response one way or another to find out if she was worth Britta's pining. "Eh, I don't know, I figured after two years of me not flirting with guys you would get it by now Jace, I mean really?"

"whatcha sayin bry? You batting for the other team, cuz if that is the case I have someone in mind for ya, and no it's not me!"

she just looked at me. No emotion, and I was starting to get worried I had offended her. "Bry if not I'm soooo sorry I just..." "Jace it's okay seriously, but to answer your question yes I date girls, but as far as you trying to play cupid hang it up. I have my eye on someone."

That was all I needed to hear. Sure she had her eye on someone but that could always change. As long as I knew for sure Brit had a chance I could work with that.

"alright Bry, your loss she was a hottie. And totally sweet. But I gotta get to the show talk to you at the after party."

and with that I was on my way and back to my thoughts. We still had four more months on this tour, so if what Jack and Cass said was true I was going to have to face this sooner or later. But i'm the world's best procrastinator so I figured why not later.

...

It was time for our set the lights on stage started to dim and the crowd got quiet and my adrenalin was pumping. This is what I lived for. This was my moment. Cass, Britta, and Ian all an on stage and the crowd went wild. They started playing the intro to the first song on our set list. Then, I ran on stage. "how the hell are you guys?" I screamed into the mic. They were loving it. "some of you may know this song, and if you do I want to hear you sing it! Go fucking crazy! This is until you call"

the whole set went great, in my opinion one of our best yet. All time low was next so I gave them a intro as I said my good bye's to the fans. "alright guys tonight was great thanks for coming out our time is about up and ATL is ready to get up here but before they do, I want you guys to ask alex where his beanie is tonight. You see he decided to tape all of our make up to the ceiling on my bus, so we pulled a small prank back. Cant wait til he finds it... you wont tell right?" they all started laughing because they could see Gaskarth staring at me like he couldn't believe I had gotten him back. So I turned around and winked at him. "well hell I guess I suck at secrets huh guys? You rock! Goodnight!" and we ran off stage.

Gaskarth grabbed me by the arm as I tried to pass him to get my water bottle. "what the hell Gaskarth?" I said. He looked at me and said. "oh I found it alright. It's gone now I could never wear that again. You got me good." I laughed and pulled my arm away and said "shouldn't have started a war unless you were sure you were gonna win it. Btw, it was just food coloring." I winked and walked out so he could start his set

he ran on stage and yelled "Thanks Jacey, you so own me a new beanie!" and started his set. I laughed and winked at jack cuz he secretly helped get the beanie while alex was drunk a couple nights ago. Then, I left I had to get ready for the after party, something I normally skipped. Parties just weren't my thing. But, tonight I don't know, I was in the mood for it I guess.

Once I got to the bus I had Cass help me get ready she went out all the time so she would know what was appropriate for this kind of thing. "Shit Cass, I have no idea what to fucking wear or do with myself at all. Can you please help me?" she walked over to my closet and said yeah ok, grabbed a few things and threw them at me. "put this on and you will be stunning." she was smiling at me all cheesey. I put the outfit on it was my black mini strapless dress, hot pink cheeta printed cardigan and my black chucks. I could deal with that. "alright cass since you are already ready, will you do my hair? And while you are doing that dish on the you and Jack thing, if you think I didn't notice you are crazy!"

she started curling my hair and was silent for a minute, thoughtful I guess. Then she said "Okay, so i'm not exactly sure what is going on at this point. I mean I like him a lot and we have a lot of fun together. We are just hangin out and enjoying the tour"

I thought it was a lame ass answer but I wasn't going to push her. "Jace, have you changed your mind on the whole alex thing? Have you ever thought maybe it could work out?"

I looked at her and seriously thought about it for a second. "no, Cass after, well after everything that happened with me and Tyler I don't want to get hurt again, and Gaskarth he looks like that is what he is best at. So no. I don't think it could work."

that was the end of that conversation, it was time to get to the party. Once we got there Cass found Jack, Ian was hitting on the bartender and Britta and I were at a booth talking. "so Brit. I talked to Brilyn, I didn't mention you so you can't get pissed but I wanted to let you know she def doesn't like boys. So now you have no reason not to at least give it a shot." her face totally lit up she had only had about three drinks, but we never drink at these things so they were starting to hit us both. "Jacey I love you! I think I will go talk to her now." "that's my girl you go get er" I said.

Britta left to go talk to Brilyn and I sat at our booth alone enjoying my drink. My mind was still places I would rather it not be. I just needed to keep in mind that he wasn't my type...total lie but whatever. And that was when he sat down infront of me. Hey Jacey you never come to these things what's up?

I was a little tipsy so I didn't have any witty remarks to make. Just a lot on my mind. "yeah I know, I just needed some time off the bus ya know?"

he just nodded and took a sip of his drink. I wasn't a fan of awkward silence and I was really starting to get drunk so I liked it even less. "so I heard you and Lisa broke up, that sucks dude. You okay?" This got his attention. "yeah a little bird told me you heard about that." Jack. I was going to have to kill him for this. So anyway how are ya holding up. You guys were together for awhile weren't you. I said. "yeah we were. I don't know. Mainly I feel relieved, we just didn't work anymore. Every time we talked lately it was an argument. Never anything good, it got to the point I just didn't even want to call anymore. So I ended it. He was staring at me when he said "on to better things I suppose." this was getting to heavy for me. So I was trying to make an exit. " well good luck with all that. I'm pretty buzzed. Which isn't normal so i'm gonna head back to the bus. Catch ya later Gaskarth."

I got up to leave and he was still staring at me, part of me liked it when he stared and part of me wanted to kick my own ass for liking it. "it's Alex." he said.

"huh? What is?" I said. He just looked at me like I was stupid. "my name Jacey. It's Alex. Or lex for short but please don't call me Gaskarth, it's so impersonal." um ok Gas.. I mean Alex, see ya I said and started stumbling to the door. This was just to much I was dizzy and the venue was about 12 blocks away. Not that long of a walk but when your are drunk well I didn't think I would make and decided to stay at the hotel next door instead. I had just walked out the door when Alex had grabbed my arm "What the fuck! Oh it's you" I said. Laughing he said yeah it's me. Let me walk you to the buses so I know you made it okay." no I whined, I don't want to walk that far I'm going to the hotel for the night, thanks though. He looked across the street then back at me and said, alright well then let's get you over there silly, I'm not letting you out of my sight til I know you are safe.

We checked into the hotel and made our way up to my room. Once there I slipped off my chucks and cardigan and crawled onto the bed. Alex came to sit beside me. We just sat there and talked for awhile, mainly about our music. What gave us inspiration for this song and that song. And then he asked a question I wasn't expecting. "Jace, what is that on your foot? I didn't know you had a tattoo, can I see it?" shit.


	3. Chapter 3

**Please please please review.**

**Chapter 3. coming clean**

You most certainly cannot! I said totally shocked that he had noticed. I thought he was as drunk as I was but I guess I was wrong. "Jacey it is just a tattoo why can't I see it?" he was right, but he was completely wrong too. It was a tattoo, but it wasn't **just** a tattoo. It was a tattoo of his lyrics on my foot. He just couldn't know about it. He couldn't and that was that. "Lex just let it go. I don't want you to see it because it is embarrassing Okay"

Alex looked at me in mock horror. "You embarrassed? well heaven forbid! Show me or I will wait til you fall asleep and pull that sock off myself." I guess there was no getting out of it. "God dammit fine! But you cannot make fun of me, and this doesn't change a damn thing Gaskarth!" Now he was excited reaching for my foot. "Scouts honor it doesn't change a damn thing, promise. Now let me fuckin see!" Reluctantly I took of my hello kitty sock and stuck my stupid foot out there so he could see. I was completely humiliated. He looked at it. Then back and me, then back at my foot. "Are you fucking done yet?" I said instantly wishing he was still at the bar. "When did you get this Jace?" I just looked at him. I was expecting mocking, and ridicule for hating him, yet loving his music, but it didn't come instead he had a look of wonder on his face.

"i was eighteen, it was mardigras, and I was hammered drunk" was all I could say. I know my face had to be cherry red. I had been trying to hide this since the tour started. "why those lyrics?" this is exactly what I had been trying to avoid. "Gaskarth I don't have to explain anything to you, why the hell are you still here anyway? I'm safe, see. You can go."

He looked like I had hurt him when I said that. "look Jacey Rae, there is nothing to be embarrassed about. I think it is awesome you got that done." that just made me even more embarrassed. Well no fucking shit you do! They are your god damned lyrics asshole! I said. Now he looked amused. Yeah, they're mine alright, but you still didn't answer my question. Why those lyrics? He said. You really wanna know? Fine. Because I didn't think I would ever make it here. I thought music would always be some unattainable dream of mine. So "dedication takes a lifetime, but dreams only last for a night" seemed perfect for how I felt. I thought that maybe if I stayed dedicated to my music someday it would pay off. And it wouldn't just be a dream anymore. And looking at those lyrics on my foot everyday is what pushed me to keep going, and get to where I am today. I said.

"why was it so hard for you to say that. That's awesome Jacey, beautiful actually." Alex, you are such an asshole. I Fucking idolized you when I was in high school. You were everything I wanted to be. I was so excited when I heard we were touring together, but then you turned out to be a douche bag, like every other "Rockstar". Speaking of, why aren't shackin' up with some groupie slut right now? Your single though that never stopped you before did it. Now he looked pissed and it took him a minute to speak. Maybe I just ruined everything, but then I didn't want anything with or from him to begin with, right?

"Jacey, I'm here because you are drunk which is not a normal thing for you, I thought maybe you wanted a friend to talk to. As far as everything thing else you just said to me, well like I said your drunk, but Lisa and I had an open relationship. She knew how tour was and she never wanted to come on tour with me so she came up with that idea. If you want me to leave I will."

"Lex, I'm sorry. I just have a lot on my mind. And I'm drunk. You don't have to go. I could use the company." he smiled and and got comfortable on the bed next to me. "I know that Jack and Cassy talked to you." yeah I figured you did. Did Cass relay the message for me like I told her to? I asked. He looked at me confusion written all over his face for a second then busted out laughing. "yeah she told me, you really think it's Ian huh?" I laughed at that one. Well it seemed the best possible answer at the time. I said. I didn't know where the rest of the night would lead and at the moment I felt like Alex and I could make this work. Maybe it was just the booze talking. "ugh I need food. Or i'm gonna puke." I said. We ordered room service and ate and talked about tour and what we would be doing on our off time. "I'm not sure really, I want to go somewhere other than home I know that. What about you?" he thought about that for a second. "Baltimore. That is def where I will be. It's home."

I didn't remember falling asleep. But I must have, I woke up to find alex had left and a note on the bedside table.

_Jacey, you fell asleep so I left, I'll be back in the morning to get you so you don't have to walk back to the venue. Today is an off day so I thought we could hang out some more today sober LOL! I'll be there at eleven._

_See you soon, Lex_

I got up and brushed my teeth and hoped in the shower. Alex would be here in half an hour to pick me up. I didn't have any clothes with me so I text Cass and told her to send some with Alex. To which I got a retarded reply.

**New message from Cassy skank:**

_I fucking knew it! You like him, did you guys do it? You better dish hoe! And why is he coming back with fresh clothes where are you?_

I laughed out loud, Cass was such a bitch. I gave her a small reply.

**Compose new message to: Cass**

_Bitch just give him my clothes. I will tell you more when I get back to the bus ok. Love you cuz. _

I ordered room service while I waited for Alex to get there. I needed food. I could only imagine what he had planned for today and I still felt like I wasn't sure if I could trust him. I guess he deserved the benefit of the doubt though right? I ate my food and flossed and then he was knocking on my door. I let him in and he handed me my clothes, I could only hope she didn't pack something stupid. Just gimme a sec to get changed ok Gaskarth? I said. He looked at me in disbelief and shook his head. " Didn't I already tell you not to call me that? C'mon Jace." Right. I forgot. Shit sorry Lex. I said.

I went to the bathroom and got changed. Cass packed me my faded skinnies and Drop Dead zombie tank top, and of course fresh hello kitty socks. I quickly changed and stepped out of the bathroom. Alright Alex, I said. What is on the agenda today? He smirked and said that my dear is a secret. My dear? Um well okay.

Alright well lets go. I hate secrets. I said. After that I checked out of my room and we headed out walking through town. "ya know you could have stayed last night, I wouldn't have minded." I said. He thought about it and stopped walking and looked at me. "Jace, I know how you feel about me, you made it very clear last night that you think I'm a band slut. And I don't blame you for thinking it. I have been lately." he seemed to consider his next words before he said them. "trust me I wanted to stay last night. I would have loved to wake up next to you. But I'm really not that guy. Not normally anyway. I just thought if I left you alone last night, you would think better of me."

He was right, I did think better of him. So I said, yeah that makes sense I guess. And we started walking again. It seemed like we were going no where and I was getting over walking aimlessly through this city. "Alex are we close to where ever the hell you are taking me? Will you at least give me a clue as to what we are doing?" he laughed and said how about this I will tell you part of what we are doing, and you cannot ask anymore questions after that deal?

I considered my options for a sec, and realized I didn't have any other options so I said alright, deal now dish bitch! "alright first we are going to journeys to buy you a pair of ballet flats. Now no more questions we are almost there." well that wasn't much help, why the fuck did I need flats? Whatever. He is a weirdo I guess lol. We got to journeys and he refused to let me pay for them, which pissed me off. After that we set off walking through town again. "fuck all this walking I'm calling a cab, and yes I'm paying for it!" I said still miffed over the shoes. He let me call the cab and gave the cabbie directions that were foreign to me. Once we got there he paid again. And we stepped out. I looked up to see us at a tattoo shop. WTF? "Gas... I mean Alex what the hell are we doing here is this a joke?" we are getting tattoos, well I'm getting a tattoo and you are getting a touch up on yours. No offense but it needs a little ink here and there." I just laughed. Well what are you getting then? I asked. He said it was another secret but he needed me to sign my name to a piece of paper and give it to him. I did as I was asked though I didnt know why. And he told me to go sit down while he talked to the artist in private.

He walked back and said okay, Jace your up first. He is gonna fix up the uneven parts and do whatever else you want to it. I stood up and went to the chair and told the guy that I wanted massive amounts of stars around it. He did as he was told. And Lex held my hand through the whole thing. He looked surprised I didn't cry. Which amused me. Mine was done and it was his turn. We switched places but Alex laid on his stomach and took off his shirt. The guy laid the stencil and I saw that it was my lyrics and my signature at the bottom. My jaw dropped. "ALEX GASKARTH WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" he smiled and said look Jacey I love this song, I wish it were mine but its not. So now it's going on my shoulder. Now we will both have something of each other's forever. And grinned until the needle touched his right shoulder.

I couldn't believe that he had done it. But he had. I couldn't believe that I was having such a good time, but I was. His tattoo was finished and I had to admit I loved it. This must have been how he felt last night seeing his words on my foot. He was beaming when he walked to the mirror to look at it. "what do you think Jacey? Do I do your words justice?" he said. That made me blush and I just nodded. We thanked the tattoo artist and paid our bill and left. Hand in hand. It was a nice feeling. We walked back to the venue, and he came onto my bus with me. I thought Cass was gonna choke on the popcorn she was eating. "well hello Alex, I must say i'm a little pissed you took my bestie away for so long." Cass said after she had swallowed. That made me laugh. Cassy shut the hell up. Jack takes you away from me all the time. She laughed in agreement. I dumped my old clothes and headed back to the sitting area of the bus with Alex.

I had a great time today Lex, thanks for everything. I said. He smiled and wrapped his arms around my waist pulling me down onto his lap. "I'm glad, I enjoyed myself today too, but it is getting late and we both have sets tomorrow so I'm gonna head back to my bus. I feel like writing anyway. He kissed my check and squeezed me to him before he got up to leave.


	4. Chapter 4

**Would love at least one review :(**

**Chapter 4**

The day had taken a lot out of me. I was extremely exhausted but I knew sleep would evade me for at least a little while longer, Cass was practically bouncing in her seat as soon as Lex walked off the bus. "So what the hell is up with that Jacey? Are you guys a thing now or what?" Cassy sounded like she was accusing me of something and I didn't like it. No, I said. We are not a thing. We are just hanging out. And who pissed in your wheaties why are you being such a bitch about it when you were the one encouraging me to do it in the first place? "sorry, sorry. I'm just in a bad mood today, I wanted to hang and you were gone with Gaskarth. I thought if you guys got together all four of would chill together but I guess I was wrong."

She was really getting on my nerves with this shit. Cass, it was only the fist date, it's not like we can't hang out together next time. I said. "AH HA! I KNEW IT! YOU ARE A THING YOU SAID DATE!" Fuck. I had to back track, Lex and I never really talked about whether or not it was a date. So I couldn't really call it that. "well no, not really a date. I don't know why I said date." I said totally embarrassed. Then Britta and Brilyn showed up on in the living area of the bus with Ian right behind them. "BITCH why are you all up on my man!" Ian said. And we all lost it. Seriously my ribs were aching we were laughing so hard. Then Britta piped up "you said date, because you wanted it to be a date." I looked at her like shut the hell up stupid. "Jace, we all know it. And have known it for years. Even before we got to where we are today. You want him to want you, and now he does" It was true, back in the day before I knew him I did want him. But all of that had changed when we started the tour.

Look, I said. That was all a long time ago. I think Gaskarth is a sleaze but he swears he isn't normally like that. I guess we will see. If he isn't well then awesome. Yeah I like him, but what happens when tour is over? You guys know I would not deal well if he did to me what he did to Lisa.

They all seemed to consider that for awhile. Then Cass had to put her two cents in. "Look Jacey, Jack and I have talked about this a lot. And he said that Lex isn't like that normally too. Lisa just had him all fucked up. He has feelings for you. And has since tour started. I know you don't want to hear this but, Tyler has moved on. I mean have you checked out his facebook lately? He isn't coming back and you owe it to yourself to move on too." that was the last thing I wanted to hear right now. Tyler was my ex. When we went on tour he wouldn't come with me because he had school and shit. He promised everything would be fine and we would stay together. But two days into the tour he text me and said it wasn't going to work. And immediately after posted a pic of him and some skank on FB.

It hurt bad. When I wasn't on stage I was either crying, writing, or sleeping for the first week. We had been together for about 2 years and it was over just like that. It sucked but it made for some awesome songs. Now, Cass had brought it up and the hurt hit me all over again so much that I thought I might double over. I fucking know that Cassy! You know I know that. I'm not waiting for him to crawl back or anything. I don't want him back he is a fuckhead, but having said that why the fuck would I want to waste my time and emotions on someone that acts just fucking like him? I said. I was getting severely pissed off. Some how my band mates had turned my awesome day out into shit. Thanks fuckers. I had had to much, ya know what? I said. Fuck this. I'm out of here. I will see you guys tomorrow at sound check. And I walked out the door.

I had no idea where I was going, I was just going. I walked and walked for awhile. Just trying to clear my head. I had finally let the idea of me and Alex being together sink in and actually thought I might be ready for something like that, then Cass had to open her big fuckin mouth about Tyler. I know she was trying to help in her own twisted way, but it just made me feel worse. Some how I had walked in a circle all the way back to the after party bar. I sat down at the bar and ordered a shot of jose and a coke. Fuck them, i'll drink my problems away. The batender brought me my drink and I slammed it and bummed a cigarette off the woman sitting next to me. She gave it to me and gave me a light. I coughed. I wasn't a smoker, but tonight I felt like doing a lot of things I normally didn't. I ordered shot after shot, and after six I stopped counting. I was hammered, but I was happy again. I paid my tab when the bartender called last call. Then I stumbled to the hotel next door.

Once I got to my room I decided to check my phone I had lots of texts and missed calls. I listened to my voicemails and decided to wait til I could see straight on the texts. I had 5 new voice mails

**first new message: **_Jacey this is alex, Cassy just called and said you ran out. Where are you? I have text you a million times. Just let me know you are okay. Please?_

**Second new message:** _Jacey god dammit you know I wasn't trying to piss you off, just come back to the bus so we can talk. I'm family and i'm worried about you._

**Third new message: **_Jace, it's Ian I know you are pissed right now, rightfully so. Just be careful okay? Love ya lady._

**Fourth new message: **_Jacey it's Alex again, still no word from you, if you don't reply soon I'm coming to look for you. _

**Fifth new message:**_ God Dammit Jacey Rae you are being so fucking childish right now. Get your ass to the bus we have a show tomorrow stupid. I called alex and he is freaking out too you know!_

Oops, I didn't think they would call a god damn amber alert on my ass. I guess I better call them. Fuck it. I'll call Alex just in case he is out there looking like he said he would be.

Damn. I got his voice mail. How ironic. "Alex, it's Jacey, I'm sorry Cass had to go and worry you, I'm at the hotel from the other night. Same room actually. Just wanted to let you know i'm safe...and drunk."

I hung up and sat on the couch in my hotel room, the next call I made was to room service, I ordered a BLT, french fries, and a coke. I had to get something into my stomach, I recently learned drinking on an empty stomach was a bad idea. While I waited on my food I took my pants off and sat in my underwear and tank top and watched Fuse. Soon after I heard a knock at my door. Thinking it was room service, I yelled coming and walked to the door in my underwear to collect my food. I opened the door to see a very pissed off Gaskarth standing there. Uh oh.

He pushed past me into the hotel room. "What the fuck Jacey? Everyone was worried sick about you." he said as he paced in front of me. Ugh I so didn't want to get into this with him. Oh fuck them. They all suck right now. They can be worried. Well not all of them just fuckin Cassy. Did you tell them i'm ok? I didn't want to talk to them and I can't text right now. I said. He looked at me and sighed, walking towards me he said yeah I called them and told them you were ok. Jacey why didn't you just call me if you were upset?

He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close. I cried then. "because Gaskarth just because! Cass well she was pushing me and pushing me and I just had to get out of there. And I had to get out quick." he stroked my hair and shushed me telling me it would be okay and led me to the couch. We sat there for awhile and there was another knock at the door. That's room service I said, can you get it? I'm all puffy faced. He laughed and got the door. He sat back down next to me and said. "Cass told me what happened after I left, Jacey I know you don't want to talk about it. But I would never do what he did."

how could you possibly say that Alex? You cheated on Lisa all the time, I know you said it was different but, it doesn't look that different to me. I said. He shook his head "look love, I know it looks bad but you will never know if you don't give me a shot." I still had tears staining my cheeks and he gently wiped them away. As soon as the tips of his fingers touched my cheek I felt a burning desire, a hungry passion that only his touch could quench. I wanted him. Now. Alex, I said. Yes love? Alex, kiss me. He looked surprised, but that didn't stop him. He did as I asked. He kissed me like he had been waiting forever to do it. I pushed myself against him hard. I couldn't get enough of him.

We broke apart both needing to breathe. I cuddled close to him, feeling so much better.


	5. Chapter 5

_Thank you to everyone that has taken the time_

_to read my story, and thank you to_

_anyone that would be_

_willing to_

_review :D_

**Chapter 5.**

The next morning we woke up early and snuggled for a little longer. "Thanks for coming to find me last night Lex." he sat up leaning on his elbows to look at me, Jacey, he said. I will always be there for you when you need me. This time, I really felt like he meant it. After that we took a shower and checked out of my hotel, we had sound check for tonights show, and I had some apologizing to do to my band, and I wasn't looking forward to it either.

"Jace do you want me to come to your bus with you?" I considered it the whole way to the venue, but decided against it for the most part. Ummm, I said. Well how about this. You walk me on to the bus, kiss me goodbye :D and then make a quick getaway Cassy is bound to be super pissed, and you don't need to witness that lol.

We walked to the bus in silence, me figuring out what the hell I was going to say to my friends, and who knows what Gaskarth was thinking about. Once we got there I took a deep breathe and let it out. Okay, I said. Let's do this. We walked in and I felt three pairs of eyes death glaring me, I knew this was coming. Lex and I said our goodbyes and he gave me a swift kiss goodbye. Those same three death glaring pairs of eyes got huge, which made me blush. And then Lex was gone, and I was alone with my friends.

"Guys I'm really sorry especially to your Cass, I know you weren't trying to make me feel like shit, but you did and it pissed me off. Regardless I shouldn't have acted that way. Forgive me?"

Always loyal Ian said "of course Jace, I understand why you did it and I don't blame ya."

Britta said "Jacey I'm just glad you are okay, I was soooooo worried about you. Please next time if there is a next time at least return my calls will ya?" I nodded my response and looked at Cassy. She just stared at me, and I could see a mix of hurt and anger on her face. Cass I said. Do you forive me. She huffed and said yeah Jacey I guess I fucking do. And walked off. I understood her being pissed about what I did. But how had I hurt her feelings? She was my best friend. More like my sister than my cousin really. Oh well, I guess it will work its self out.

After a quick change of clothes and a little bit o eye liner and mascara I was off the bus and headed to sound check. I saw Jack and ran over to him. "What gives Barakat? Why is my best friend in the entire world so upset with me? Aside from the obvious of last night. She seems like I hurt her feelings or something." Jack smiled at the thought of Cass, oh there was definitely something there that I didn't know about. Well Jace she is hurt because you don't do all that lame girl talk with her lately. She has no idea what is going on with you and Alex and frankly neither do I. That wasn't a part of her plan.

I thought about that, and I guess he was right, Cass had been out of the loop lately, but she never told me what was up with her and Jack either. So I don't see why she had to know everything about me and Lex either.

Oh, okay well that makes some sense I guess. Thanks Jack. I owe you one. By the way, what the fuck is the deal with you and Cassy? Are you together? Jack laughed and said. Oh the things you will find out when you girl talk with Cass. See ya Jacey. And he was gone.

I knew I had to make things right with Cass so I headed over to the ATL bus to let Lex know that I would be spending some Quality time with Cass tonight. I walked onto the bus and found Rian, hey rian I said. Is Alex around here somewhere? Rian said he was in the bathroom fixing his hair. I walked to the bathroom and let myself in hey babes I said smirking. He laughed and kissed me lightly on the lips and continued with that cute hair of his. I was getting so used to having him. It was nice. "lex, tonight Cass and I have some serious making up to do. So i'm gonna hang with her. You and the boys go out or something. But you better be good." Yeah that's cool he said. And of course I will be good Jace, I don't want to fuck this up. I smiled and kissed him and left for sound check.

Sound check and the show went well. And after the show I caught up with Cass, HEY skank! Wait up. Ilughed as I jogged up beside her. Cass you wanna just hang out with me tonight and say fuck the ater party? There is so much I want to talk to you about. She looked at me then away, then back at me. Yeah sure but are we just hanging out on the bus? Cuz that sounds fucking lame. We decided to get starbucks and go shopping at the local mall. We both needed some new clothes. I told cass about the tattoos and and everything that was and wasn't going on with me and Lex. And she told me about her and Jack who were in fact a couple now. I was really excited about that for her. Jack was a good dude and Cass needed a good dude in her life.

"Cass I know I already apologized about what happened last night but, think about it. You know how bad it was for me when Tyler pulled his master chode moment on me. I just wasn't expecting you of all people to bring him up and it hurt all over again." she looked like she was in pain too actually. I know Jace. She said. I don't know why I brought him up. I just did and I'm sorry too.

After that we just shopped and talked about new clothes and the tour and other things to fill the silence, we ended up walking out with plenty. I got a summer dress, 3 pair of skinnies, 2 pair of shorts, and four new band tee's and cass got about the same.

We went back to the bus both feeling a lot better. And played zombies on the Xbox for awhile. After that I decided it was time to call it a night, I shot Lex a text saying good night and wishing him a good time and drifted off to sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

The next morning I woke up to Ian and Britta arguing over whether or not Gaskarth and I had done the dirty. I decided to let them think I was still asleep a little longer just so I could hear what they had to say.

Think about it Brit she has been in love with not only the idea of him but actually him since what junior year? The def did it. Ian said.

No they didn't. for one Cass would have been told by now if they had so we would know, and second Jacey isn't like that and you know it. She likes Alex. She doesn't just want to be able to say she slept with him. That would fuck everything up if go that far too soon.

Britta think about how long it has been we have been on tour for 3 months. That is a lot of built up tension that she would want to release LMAO. Ian argued.

That made me giggle so I walked into the living area, and said ok do you want to end this argument and find out which of you is right? They both looked shocked to know that I heard them gossiping about me. Well do you want to know or not? They both laughed and said well of course.

First of all, Britta you are right, Cass does know everything but I would hope she wouldn't be telling all my business like you think she would. And second the winner is Britta. No Gaskarth and I have not done the dirty….yet.

YET? They both exclaimed. I laughed at that. No guys I don't mean that I'm planning on jumping him anytime soon, but Ian is right three months is a long time, and I have practically loved the kid forever. I winked and walked to the bathroom for a shower, leaving them to whisper the next bet on how long it would take before it happened lol.

After my shower I got dressed and decided that I needed to get off the bus and do something since we didn't play today. Cass was already gone so I couldn't make her go with me, Britta? What are your plans for today. I asked. She said that her, Ian, and Brilyn were going to the zoo of all places, and I didn't want to do that so it looked like I was gonna fly solo for whatever I decided to do today. I told Britta and the others goodbye and headed off the bus.

I wasn't really sure where I wanted to go. I knew there was an art museum near by that I had wanted to check out when we got to town, so I figured I would just go there and take it in for a little while. It's always so quiet in museums, and filled with so much wonder that I can lose myself in them for hours.

I made my way in and paid the fee to tour the museum. I decided I would start on the top floor and make my way to the bottom and then to the outside exhibits. The place was packed with people though I could see why. This place was amazing. It was full of beauty and put me in the most amazing mood. I have always been a fan of art. The idea of being able to see someone else's passion on a piece of paper, or canvas, or clay is a beautiful thing to me.

I grabbed an overpriced bite to eat at the café in the museum and headed back to the venue. I had had a good day by myself, sometimes I needed just that. To be by myself. The whole day I didn't think about Gaskarth, or tour, or sleeping in a tiny cot next to three other snoring people. I just cleared my head and it was a wonderful day.

On my way back into the venue Gaskarth caught my eye he was talking to Jack and Cass. I made my way over to my group of friends to say hello. I was wondering if I would see your face today, I came to your bus and Britta said you had left for the day. Alex said. Yeah, I said. I went to the museum for the day. It was a lot of fun. Cass shook her head. Jace, do you seriously have to go to one in every city we come across. I laughed. Well if I can find them and have the time yeah. You know I love it. After that Alex and I went to his tour bus to hang out.

I didn't know you were into art Jacey. I am too. I would have loved to go with you. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to be sorry for not inviting him but I wasn't. that was just something I liked to do by myself to clear my head. Sorry Lex, the museum is just that place I go to get away ya know? That is really the only time I have to just myself with out the thought of anyone I know being around and I can really just let go and enjoy the art and not think.

He seemed to give that some thought but let it go. We went to the back room on the bus and cuddled on the couch. So how was the after party last night? I asked. He still seemed far away in thought. Oh, right it was good I guess. We hung out with the Paramore gang. He said this like he didn't want to keep it from me but didn't particularly want to tell me either. Which was understandable since Haley has had a thing for Alex and has made it public knowledge for sometime now.

He could tell that I was a little tense, he sat up and looked at me since I still hadn't responded. Oh that's nice… and how did that go. I asked very dryly. He just laughed. It went fine Jace. I told you I would be good. And smirked at me.

I just don't understand why all of the bands that I liked in high school all have to be such shits now that I'm in the business and kissed his cheek. He laughed and and wrapped his arms around me. Ya know love, you wouldn't have to wonder how the night went if you would just suck it up and say we are together. That threw me a little. I wasn't expecting him to say that he wanted that so quickly.

I knew he was expecting a response but I just looked at him. Was that all it would take for me to know that the nights that I'm not there went smoothly? I didn't think so.

Okay. Was all I said. And then I kissed him again.


End file.
